It used to be called the White city, my hometown.
And it really was white. I remember, how through my
window I could see where two rivers merge with
sky in the most beautiful lightness…
Yesterday I came to the White city.
Of its entire glorious glow there are only pigeons trying to fly,
not having wings to lift themselves above the grey net
of dark clouds made of sorrows and unlived dreams.
People walk and talk, just as they used to,
but instead of smile they wear masks:
Mask 1: “Good morning boss!”
Mask 2: “I’ll pick up the groceries, dear!”
Mask 3: “What a great game tonight!”
Now, White city is full of labyrinths.
For each room you have to put the right mask.
It helps you navigate.
If you put the wrong one,
streets just swallow you.
The streets…once a safe place to be.
I used to play on the streets of my white city…
Just how many knee cuts they have absorbed!
I’d liked when concrete caressed me on my head.
Streets are now landslides of children cry, abandon lovers,
cars that start only on your yelling.
Skyscrapers don’t exist any more.
Shoe boxes have replaced them.
In public transport,
we have to climb on each other’s heads
in order to move…And that’s the only way for you to know
in which labyrinth room you are.
There are no windows,
and why would you need them?
Sulfur and nitrogen have replaced fresh air.
Is ever light going to return to the White city?
I don’t know. I would like to.
Maybe some new generations
will help rivers merge again with sky
in the most beautiful lightness.
Maja S. Todorovic
Note: This is a poem, published as a part of The Disappearing project by Red Room Company. It was written as my impression of visiting my hometown after longer absence. Beograd I was born in and used to know, really doesn’t exist anymore. Sadly, but true.
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Ah, I visited it in my childhood, long before Yugoslavia disintegrated. I’m sure it must be almost unrecognisable nowadays.
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Exactly, and it is so sad. We simply didn’t know how to preserve what we had ..who knows, maybe really in future things get better 🙂
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Memories always stay with us and never change for they are a part of us. I know when I go back to where I lived as a child everything looks so small. Things change but true memories remain. Lovely post Maja. I felt it all. ❤️
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Thanks Elaine. And I’m so glad I had the opportunity to participate in this lovely project where people do record their memories about lost places, in the form of poetry. No better way to do it.
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A wonderful and poignant poem Maja. You feel the sadness and the bright spark of hope for a better future.
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Thanks Davy, I do hope my hometown becomes clean and joyful again 🙂
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